literature

You're my herione

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Otouto-luv's avatar
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Literature Text

Our relationship was never easy.

Constant bickering.. Small arguments neither of us really won.

I did, no; scratch that, do love you. But I didn't want you to be hurt by my words. I was terrified of you in pain, because of me. I want to be the shoulder you cry on; not the one who starts the tears. We weren't normal; always someone other we loved aside from each other.

You love him now; you loved me first.

I loved her first, but you stole my heart.

Our friendship was dysfunctional, to say the least. Near the end, there were more tears than laughs, more insults than compliments.


If I could do it over, I wouldn't have wasted time; I would've given you the love you so clearly deserve, I wouldn't have waited to be your only love. I should have taken the chance I got, but hey- these things happen?

Being with you was like a drug. When we had our good times, you made my heart warm and I found as more love than I ever believe I'll find. You were my high.

Though, our bad times, serious arguments, disagreements, and stubbornness hurt.. I would crash, and I would crash hard.

But no matter how hard I crashed, I'd always run back; I'll admit it. I'm addicted to you.
I have to quit, I know. I hope you know I don't want to, but I have to. Maybe soon, when I don't feel as strong for you as I do now, we can try again at this crazy friendship again.
Or I'll come crawling back, begging for forgiveness.

Despite everything- your boyfriend, my heartache, our always-come-back-to-fucked-up-love- despite all those things.. There are nights when the clock beeps an 11:11PM, I think I see a shooting star, or an eyelash falls.. Sometimes I even pray to someone I only halfway believe in, that maybe, just maybe you would love me again. I wish and pray that I could have everything back.

The fighting,

the arguments,

the disagreements,

the insults,

the harsh words we spoke.

I wish them all back. Because I know if I had all that back I could have the good things, too.
You embarrass me. I didn't want someone to be my everything, I didn't want to love, again.
Because I feel like I have nothing, now.
© 2011 - 2024 Otouto-luv
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choco-latte-squirrel's avatar
Wow, that was just amazing, I'm speechless and kinda breathless for real.