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Literature Text
Our relationship was never easy.
Constant bickering.. Small arguments neither of us really won.
I did, no; scratch that, do love you. But I didn't want you to be hurt by my words. I was terrified of you in pain, because of me. I want to be the shoulder you cry on; not the one who starts the tears. We weren't normal; always someone other we loved aside from each other.
You love him now; you loved me first.
I loved her first, but you stole my heart.
Our friendship was dysfunctional, to say the least. Near the end, there were more tears than laughs, more insults than compliments.
If I could do it over, I wouldn't have wasted time; I would've given you the love you so clearly deserve, I wouldn't have waited to be your only love. I should have taken the chance I got, but hey- these things happen?
Being with you was like a drug. When we had our good times, you made my heart warm and I found as more love than I ever believe I'll find. You were my high.
Though, our bad times, serious arguments, disagreements, and stubbornness hurt.. I would crash, and I would crash hard.
But no matter how hard I crashed, I'd always run back; I'll admit it. I'm addicted to you.
I have to quit, I know. I hope you know I don't want to, but I have to. Maybe soon, when I don't feel as strong for you as I do now, we can try again at this crazy friendship again.
Or I'll come crawling back, begging for forgiveness.
Despite everything- your boyfriend, my heartache, our always-come-back-to-fucked-up-love- despite all those things.. There are nights when the clock beeps an 11:11PM, I think I see a shooting star, or an eyelash falls.. Sometimes I even pray to someone I only halfway believe in, that maybe, just maybe you would love me again. I wish and pray that I could have everything back.
The fighting,
the arguments,
the disagreements,
the insults,
the harsh words we spoke.
I wish them all back. Because I know if I had all that back I could have the good things, too.
Constant bickering.. Small arguments neither of us really won.
I did, no; scratch that, do love you. But I didn't want you to be hurt by my words. I was terrified of you in pain, because of me. I want to be the shoulder you cry on; not the one who starts the tears. We weren't normal; always someone other we loved aside from each other.
You love him now; you loved me first.
I loved her first, but you stole my heart.
Our friendship was dysfunctional, to say the least. Near the end, there were more tears than laughs, more insults than compliments.
If I could do it over, I wouldn't have wasted time; I would've given you the love you so clearly deserve, I wouldn't have waited to be your only love. I should have taken the chance I got, but hey- these things happen?
Being with you was like a drug. When we had our good times, you made my heart warm and I found as more love than I ever believe I'll find. You were my high.
Though, our bad times, serious arguments, disagreements, and stubbornness hurt.. I would crash, and I would crash hard.
But no matter how hard I crashed, I'd always run back; I'll admit it. I'm addicted to you.
I have to quit, I know. I hope you know I don't want to, but I have to. Maybe soon, when I don't feel as strong for you as I do now, we can try again at this crazy friendship again.
Or I'll come crawling back, begging for forgiveness.
Despite everything- your boyfriend, my heartache, our always-come-back-to-fucked-up-love- despite all those things.. There are nights when the clock beeps an 11:11PM, I think I see a shooting star, or an eyelash falls.. Sometimes I even pray to someone I only halfway believe in, that maybe, just maybe you would love me again. I wish and pray that I could have everything back.
The fighting,
the arguments,
the disagreements,
the insults,
the harsh words we spoke.
I wish them all back. Because I know if I had all that back I could have the good things, too.
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So I read more of your poems, got more absorbed. Thinking, 'She's so good at this. She's so nice. I wish I could write this freely.' Wondering, 'Aw this is such a cute love poem! I wonder who the lucky girl is this time...' Sometimes, I thought it could have been me. Now I know a few were, and that made me feel so special.
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Pride is walking around with your head held high no matter what's going on around you.
Pride is not replying when someone calls you a faggot or a dyke, you just walk away smiling.
Pride is when you can look someone square in the eye and say "Yeah, I'm gay."
Pride is when you're no longer ashamed of who you are, you embrace yourself.
Pride is learning to love yourself so other people can love you to, and if they don't, fuck them.
Pride is dishing it out when you know you can handle it back.
Pride is knowing who you are and putting yourself out there whether you look stupid or not.
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all you need
"Straight?
"Gay?"
"Lesbian?"
"Bi?"
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You embarrass me. I didn't want someone to be my everything, I didn't want to love, again.
Because I feel like I have nothing, now.
Because I feel like I have nothing, now.
© 2011 - 2024 Otouto-luv
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Wow, that was just amazing, I'm speechless and kinda breathless for real.